I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I didn't notice because vodka
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
