your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He shit in the fireplace
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