hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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