What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
