guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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