let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
