Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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