I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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