Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
