I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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