apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
even my farts smell like vagina
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize