Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
