Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
