Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Blood and glitter go together right?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
