I think im going to throw up on grandma
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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