That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Don't make out with my wife yet
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
