so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just pee around me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
