i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize