he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Let's get the cat blown out
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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