sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
