ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
