so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
