she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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