Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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