I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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