i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize