What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
