Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
