im so drunk with asians
where?
always
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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