Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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