Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
