Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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