If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
