I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
