Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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