So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
