I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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