I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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