"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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