we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
