It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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