How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
