I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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