i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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