Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
