it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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