Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
