dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
