living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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