He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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