Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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