try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
