it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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