Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
