There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
