All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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