What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
