It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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