Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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