4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
