I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
did you just send me my own nude
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
