This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she peed on how many people?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize