Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
