found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
