she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
