I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize