It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
