just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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