come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize