Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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