oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
