problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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