KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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