my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
