Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you win again, gameday.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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