well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
