Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
