Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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